HR Blog

Resolve to Accept

By Dee Yingst

“New Year! New You!” – What’s so wrong with the old you?

Last week was just not my week. I was really sick, my heat pump at home went out, my office looks like a tornado went through it, I was not at the top of my game and I just felt like I was letting everyone down.  It sucked in ways I cannot even explain. Add to that, all around me are the New Year’s Resolutions lists. Whether it’s a personal resolution list or a career-focused list, so many of those lists focus on ‘fixing’ what’s ‘wrong’ with us. You know the ones; they start with New Year! New You! and implore you to start the newest diet, exercise every day, change the way you work, blah blah blah and essentially remind you of just how ‘broken’ you are. I didn’t need the reminder.

I fell into that trap that many HR people know all too well – we have to set the tone, we have to be at the top of our game all the time. So after thoroughly beating myself up for several days (which of course included reminiscing about every misstep I’ve ever made), I decided it was time to make my own resolution list.  My list embraces my imperfection and reminds me that it’s ok to stumble now and then. Maybe my list will help you.

Here’s my Resolution Acceptance list:

  1. Accept that you’re going to have bad days and that’s ok. No one can be up all the time. Sometimes you’re not going to handle things the way you’d want. Maybe you’re going to be a little short with someone and wish you hadn’t or…. maybe you’re going to be so full of cold medicine that you’re going to reply to the wrong email (yep not only did I do that, I replied to “all”. It was a less-than-stellar day.)
  2. Accept that you can’t save them all. Despite your best efforts, you are going to have employees that just can’t get it together. They won’t understand that they can’t treat coworkers that way, or that they actually need to show up each day and on time no less, or they actually have to get their work done. It’s not your fault. Remember that old adage about horses and water? It’s true. You can show them the path but you can’t make them walk it.
  3. Accept that you can’t do it all. You can’t be everything to everybody. Sometimes you’re going to have to say “no” or “not right now”. It’s ok.
  4. Accept that you need time for yourself, and that’s ok. Self-care is a real thing. You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of yourself.
  5. Accept that every now and then something is going to fall through the cracks. Find it, apologize for it, fix it, and move on. Practice what you preach: the mistake doesn’t matter nearly as much as what you do about it.

 

Accept. Adjust. Move On. Repeat.

 

Happy New Year and here’s to a great 2019!